Seven Different Kinds of Smoke

Okay, so it's your life soundtrack. Take your iTunes (or whatever you use to play music, put it on shuffle, and put each song into one of these categories. Alternatively, pick the songs that fit these categories as best you can. The randomized iTunes thing is a lot easier because it gives you less to choose between, so there's that. Anyway, here's mine.



If my life was a movie, this would be the soundtrack

Opening Credits: Addicted to Stress (Jim’s Big Ego)

Waking Up Scene: Beautiful Day (U2)

Falling In Love Scene: We Are In Love (Harry Connick, Jr.)

Car Driving Scene: Coastal Cities (The Secret Handshake)

High School Flashback Scene: High School Never Ends (Bowling for Soup)

Nostalgic Scene: Kryptonite (Three Doors Down)

Bitter, Angry Scene: Staring At The Sun (The Offspring)

Break-up Scene: Last Goodbye (Jeff Buckley)

Get Back Together Scene: The Guy That Says Goodbye to You Is Out of His Mind (Griffin House)

Regret Scene: The Sound of Settling (Death Cab for Cutie)

Life’s Okay Scene: Walking on Sunshine (Katrina and the Waves)

Happy Dance: Jump On It – Sir Mix-A-Lot

Nightclub/Bar Scene: Alcohol (Barenaked Ladies)

Fight/Action Scene: Fight (Pain)

Sad, Breakdown Scene: Pretty Girl (Sugarcult)

Mellow Scene: Twentysomething (Jamie Cullum)

Dreaming About Someone Scene: Steppenwolf (Magic Carpet Ride)

Dreaming Scene: Enter Sandman (Metallica)

Sex Scene: Closer (Nine Inch Nails)

Contemplation Scene: James River Blues (Old Crow Medicine Show)

Chase Scene: I’m Shipping Up to Boston (Dropkick Murphys)

True Love: Rest of My Life (Unwritten Law)

Wedding Scene: Power of Two (Indigo Girls)

Birth of First Child Scene: There Goes My Life (Kenny Chesney)

Happy Friend Scene: Motorcycle Drive-By (Third Eye Blind)

Death Scene: Cry (James Blunt)

Funeral Scene: I Will Follow You Into The Dark (Death Cab for Cutie)

Closing Credits: Everyone (Social Burn)

Skipped a beat:

"Dear UASOM Applicant:

The Committee on Admissions for the University of Alabama School of Medicine invites you to interview for a position in the 2007 entering class."

-insert huge sigh of relief here-

In other news, life is good. I have a sinus infection, and am on like 11 pills a day (seriously). So hopefully that will improve.

Also, I have the best friends. Ever.

--KJM

So I'm sick. Because of mold in a hotel room, I think. Hopefully not the bad kind.

Skye Stewart is basically tons of fun, and I enjoyed our arduous and psychoanalytical trip to Mobile.

MCAT scores are in. I did alright. I write better than 99.6% of the population. Awesome. Maybe I won't go to medical school, and will instead be a novelist. I'm a shoe-in. After all, I bought a book called No Plot? No Problem. A Low-Stress, High-Velocity Guide to Writing A Novel In 30 Days by Chris Baty.

In other news, I'm exhausted. I miss you guys.

It's cool, I feel alive.

After waking up this morning, I slowly and methodically shook out pill after pill into my hand. There's something inherently soothing to me in the process of taking meds. My hand filled, progressively, with a blue pill, a red pill, a pink pill, an orange pill, a white pill, and two transparent yellow pills. In addition to these, I have a bottle of cough syrup (that I realize now I probably shouldn't have taken since I have to drive soon). I take these pills on an empty stomach, hoping that the "Must Be Taken With Food" warning is only a recommendation, because I don't really feel like eating, and I'm already late. It is just a recommendation. Kinda like "Only you can prevent forest fires!" Only me? Yikes. Although I guess that's more of a directive than a recommendation, because if only you can prevent forest fires, and you don't, then it follows that no one is preventing forest fires. And if no one is preventing forest fires, then all the forests will burn. And if all the forests burn, the ratio of oxygenating plants to people worldwide drops drastically, decreasing the sustainability of the human population. This in turn causes people to die, eliminating first the poor, and then the nonvital service industries. But in a world with no trees, and one surviving mechanic, how long until we're back to nomadic society, travelling in wagons, trying not to breathe too deeply to conserve what little air there is in the atmosphere.

All that is to say, prevent forest fires, or else it's hunting and gathering for you!

So seriously, I don't know where I was going with that. Taking pills gives me direction in my life, because I know that each of them is designed to carefully regulate the millions of chemical interactions in my body, and is designed to get me well soon. Slowly but surely, the pills I pour into my hand each morning will dwindle from seven to six, then six to four. Then four to two. Two pills, I'll probably take for the rest of my life. And I'm okay with that.

These pills do NOT include: pain medicine, depression medicine, or ADHD medicines, as I do not regularly take them. On the side of the sink opposite the medicines I take, there are even more bottles filled with colorful pills that I do not take. Because I self-medicate. Always have, probably always will.

Alright, with that, I'm out. Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

So, here is the next installment of my semiregular three things.

1) If you're ever applying for something, I have two pieces of advice for you. One: Get your application in early. This does not mean that if the deadline is the 10th of April you get it in on the 9th of April. This means that if the deadline is the 10th of April, you get it in on the 10th of March. It helps a lot! The second piece is that you should read all materials included in the application packets. For example, when they say "Interviews are granted on a first-come first-serve basis. Because there are a limited number of interview spots, it is to you advantage to apply early," you should read that BEFORE you have turned in your application, not the day after you turn it in, which so happens to be the deadline.

2) Listen to Old Crow Medicine Show. I have the CD if you'd like to borrow it, or you can download it. Not that I advocate downloading music without paying for it, and this was the first CD I have bought since like the 9th grade. So I'm a fan. You should be too. Or not. Either way, it's good, even given my typically abysmal and wide-ranging taste in music. Also, Lucky # Slevin is a genuinely good movie. You should watch it. It, I also have. So yeah!

3) Ending a sentence in a preposition is okay, sometimes. I can never figure out how to do it because it is really rare that I ever need to end a sentence in a preposition. But sometimes it's awkward if you try not to. So don't go out of your way to avoid it, but if it sounds dumb, don't do it. That's the general rule. If the phrasing is awkward with a preposition at the end, don't say it that way. If the phrasing is awkward after carefully rewording a statement to avoid prepositional endings, end it with a preposition. Basically, just do what feels right. In all things, not just grammar. By no means is that statement a blanket endorsement of hedonism. I am merely pointing out the phenomenon that, unless you just suck at life, your gut instincts are pretty good. Not universally good, but pretty good.

That's all I've got for now.

--KJM

Conversation:

Kenny: Hey Stephen. Just calling to be sure you mailed my medical school recommendation.

Stephen: Now when is that due?

Kenny: It has to be mailed out by 5 pm today.

Stephen: Really?

Kenny: . . . Umm, yeah.

Stephen: Do I have that address?

Kenny: It's in the second email I sent you. And the sixth.


-insert quantative sigh here-


Everything turned out okay though. He got the recommendation in on time, though it was a little stressful right up until the deadline.

( Rant about my day. Read on if you feel so inclined )

Without further adieu, this week's three things:

1) If something goes wrong, or breaks, or whatever, look for the simple solution as opposed to the endlessly complex one. For example, if the CD drive on your computer is broken, spending $100 on a new motherboard and $30 on a new DVD drive only to find out that the problem is a $4 cable of which you have a spare kinda sucks. So check the small things first, like the cable. Or whatever you metaphorize to the cable. Fix the small stuff first, in short. It's quicker, and much less costly.

2) Make spare keys. This advice, isn't of course, limited to just making spare keys either. It also includes details on storing and using spare keys. Also, this shouldn't apply to only car keys. All keys you can make a copy of, you should make a copy of. Now. The reason I say to make a copy now is because of a personal experience. Let's say you're being all Johnny-(or Jane-)Freespirit, and decide "Well, I'm responsible and nevereverevereverever lose my keys, so I don't need a spare right now!" Now I'm not going to tell you you're wrong to say this, because it may very well be true. You may be very responsible, and may never lose your keys. But for one, I personally am not, in reality, as responsible as I am in my head. I can only imagine that other people are the same way. I mean, I'm not that abnormal, right? . . . Right? Anyway, even if you are responsible, I'll let you in on a little known fact. Keys are made of metal. And shaped exactly to fit whatever they are supposed to unlock. Now, one of the most interesting properties of things made out of metal is that, with enough force, they bend. With keys, this isn't a lot of force, and can be quite subtle. Now when a key bends, it doesn't like to unlock the things it's supposed to, and therefore bends even more, since you're forcing it, making it fit less easily. The moral of the story is that, at some point, I bent my car key, and it kinda doesn't unlock my car now. And the copy I made of the (bent)key kinda doesn't unlock it either. Just some food for thought. Now, as for storing spare keys. THEY SHOULD NEVER BE STORED INSIDE WHATEVER THEY UNLOCK. Spare car keys - not in the car. Spare house keys - not in the house. Because if you everever need them, you're most likely locked OUT of wherever they are. If, like me, you are also worried about the possibility of losing your keys, but still having access to your car, but not to anywhere else, like if, for example, you were driving in the desert and lost your keys, you should keep two spares, one INSIDE the car, and the other NOT inside the car. That way both avenues are covered. In case you somehow lose your keys. In the desert. So the moral of the story is - make spare keys.

3) See Running With Scissors. In a word, as Erika put it, it's "bizarre," which I feel is perfectly appropriate. It's unreal, and unbelieveable, but to such a degree that you're convinced it has to be true. People can't make this stuff up. It was gripping, revealing, hilarious, and greatly enjoyable, all things considered. I highly recommend it. And this isn't one of those "Wow, the same guy who owns a copy of Bring It On! told me to see this movie. I'm running out RIGHT now to watch it . . ." situations. This is one of those "Wow, Kenny J. Murray, whom I respect and adore, has expressed and articulate and moderately well-informed opinion about something. That sounds pretty sweet. I think I'll check it out. Even if he owns a copy of Bring It On" situations. Just in case you were wondering.

Well, thats one, two, and three, for this week. Tune in next week for . . . well, I guess three more. If I remember. Which is doubtful.

--KJM

So today was lots of fun!

After work I went to BSC to hang out with my favorite people, and much fun was had by all.

I later got roped into Physics, which I enjoyed, and varied and deep discussions, which were also good!

Courtesy of idle_nights

So yeah. As of now, my journal is Friends-Only, due to some recent developments. There are only like 3 people in the world I won't add, so comment to be added. I promise there's fun stuff going on inside my head. Mostly.

Anyway, comment to be added. If you see the entry after this one, you're still on my friendslist ^.^ Or you could just check my info since I don't know when I'll actually do the substantive update to which I am alluding.

Anyway, Friends Only. Yeah. Welcome Friends.

So today was the first day of class my senior year. My last "first day of class," my last orientation at BSC, the last play I'll probably ever act in, the last SOS shirt I'll ever own. It's a time of reflection, introspection, and evaluation.

I've been in college for four years. Do I feel like it has been great? For the last two years, yes. For the next year, yes. But the first year, not so much.

There's a poker game going on in our common room, which is separated from me by a wall. They're really loud. I don't know if I can sleep.

I have my medication now. Things are looking up.

I have a full day of classes tomorrow, then work. I don't know how I feel about that.

Apparently, gas stations in the city are out of gas. Talk about some suck. Also, gas is projected to hit $3 tomorrow. That makes me kinda sad.

Tonight, after actually doing laundry instead of washing only my SOS shirts, I went to visit Erin, and ended up staying for several hours, and meeting several new people, notably, Bob, Whitney and Gloria. Lots of fun, lots of laughs, several revelations, a mistake or two, bad mental images, discussions about bed placement, and episodes of the Family Guy followed. Fun ensued.

I bought a new wallet. It has a BSC logo on it. Also, it is small. It can't hold checks.

I also opened a new bank account with Compass Bank. And new checks. And $20 free. Which is like 1/2 a tank of gas. I haven't closed my old one, but it is only a matter of time.

I'm trying not to get overcommitted this semester. But I think I am.

I'm questioning things. Lots of things. My political allegiances, my outlook on relationships, people, my actions, my reactions, my habits, and my friends. I'm realizing a lot of things, some good, some bad, some indifferent, some mediocre.

Also, it appears that I have lost weight. I'm okay with that.

I think I've stopped drinking.

Now I'm going to bed. We'll see what happens after that.

Until tomorrow. -K

I just feel lost.

So the MCAT is tomorrow. I really don't know how I feel about that.

I'm at work, and there is literally nothing to do. The poster is almost ready, I'm just waiting on vital files I need to continue. The 1400 recipient mailout has been removed from under my supervision, because, although I'm the Executive VP of Marketing and Telesales, and it is, in fact, a marketing endeavor, therefore should be handled by my staff and I (yes, I have a staff. His name is Andrew, and he does all the stuff I don't want to.), Steve decided that, because I have more important things to do, that this project was being pulled from my supervision. So none of the stuff that was here is anymore. So I'm done working on it.

My tasks for today:

Set up new computer
Finish CDF poster

The computer is working just fine, and the poster is as far as I can get it now, almost ready to upload and print.

Things are interestingly complicated now. I talked for quite a while to Victoria last night, and I have to say, it helped a lot! Thanks tons Victoria, your advice/attention was invaluable. I think I've decided my course of action. And everything is gonna be alright. In time.

Y'know, when you're confronted by someone about one of your flaws, you've got the choice to ignore them and write them off as assholes, or listen, and assume that they know you well enough to bring it up. And you know me well enough to bring it up. And you're right. And I'm gonna work on it. I promise.

Anyway, I'm gonna review physics equations and finish this poster.

Here goes:

After 15 seconds of neurosis during a phone call, I'm okay.

The question has been answered, and I'm okay with the answer. Happy even.

All is right with the world. Except that my package isn't here yet. And the MCAT is Saturday. And I need to do laundry. And I have to go to work. So Saturday at 5:30pm, I will either be perfectly okay, or have a complete nervous breakdown. So if I call you with a complete nervous breakdown, just bear with me, it'll be over before the day is up. Last time, after the MCAT, I burst into tears when I made my first phone call. Maybe this time will be better.

Here is my resolution: I will not be plunging myself into an alcoholic stupor after the MCAT this time. This is mainly because one 3 1/2 shot screwdriver has approximately 600 calories.

So yeah, I've been really tired lately, for some reason. So I started eating Frosted Mini Wheats. Because, if you've seen the commercial, two weeks of eating them every morning can turn you from "Unghhhhhh" to "Yeah!" So I'm giving that a shot.

It's been an interesting few weeks. New friends, old friends, big decisions, small decision, confessions, honesty, arguments, arguments about arguments, periods of silence, moving in, moving out, moving in again, calling family, seeing family, avoiding family, calling friends, seeing friends, seeing people who aren't friends, drinking, not drinking, exercising, not exercising, debating as to whether or not I have carpal tunnel, listening to music again for the first time in forever, pouring my heart out, opening up to one more person, bringing the total to about 4, not regretting it, even today, being happy, still, having the best friends I could ask for, having someone brave enough to be perfectly honest with me, even if it was exactly what I didn't want to hear, watching the shooting stars (some of them), reading livejournal, writing livejournal, stressing about life, love and the MCAT, helping other people move in, move out, and in again, getting random calls out of my past that ended up turning out really wonderfully, getting random calls from my past that ended up turning out really not wonderfully, strangely intellectual conversations really late at night from unexpected sources, people who still see right through me, even though it has been years, people who see right through me even though I've known them for less than a year, being ignored, being criticized, being "reprioritized", being someone's number one priority, being someone's last resort, coming up with new ideas about what to do with my life, discarding each of them as a futile attempt to avoid what is laid out for me, religious dilemmas, religious revelations, religious experiences.

It's been a long, rambling, stream of consciousness type, terribly nonspecific entry. But if you're anywhere on this list, whether you know it or not, I thank you. For good or bad, these events, and the many others in my life, have come together to make me into who I am today. And I get happier with the person I am today as every day goes by. Happier than I've ever been with me before. And I think it's only going somewhere from here.

So I don't really expect anyone to read the paragraph of rambling above. But it is what was going through my head while I lie here in the floor at the office, waiting on the last run of 1,400 envelopes to finish, before I have to start stamping them.

In the next few weeks, I'll be dropping off the face of the planet pretty much, starting Saturday, August 20th. Jenna, I'll see a heck of a lot of you, but probably not anyone else, at least not regularly. Well, by "not anyone else" I mean anyone who is not an RA, an SOS member, a freshman, or a student at UAB. There are probably exceptions to this, such as Patrick, Anthony and Ben, but given my schedule for the next two weeks, I really don't know how much free time I'll have at all.

If you were wondering, my class schedule is:

MWF 1100-1200 Cellular and Molecular Biology, BI 125
M 100-400 Cellular and Molecular Biology Laboratory, BI 125 L

On TTH, I have tons of classes, from 9am-4pm, and in no particular order, here they are:
HI282 Disputers of the Tao: Confucian and Buddhist Text in China or something
HI301 The Federalist Period and the American Revolution
RE280 John Wesley and the People Called Methodists
HI470 Senior Seminar in History - 50 page paper, here I come

So yeah, that's a bit of overload, but all will be well, because assuming everything works out, that will allow me to graduate on time. I have to buy more books, for one more class. It looks like my goal of less that $350 isn't happening, but I might just squeak by under $400, unless I decide to buy one of the Sesquicentennial books. Cause those are like $50.

I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping lately. Also, I'm trying to stop spending money. Because I spend too much, and won't be able to work for the next two weeks because of orientation and such. So yeah, that's about it.

I'm confused. So much stuff is going through my head right now that I can't even stop to sort any of it out.

I don't know what to do. For the first time in my life, I honestly don't know what to do.

And Juliet, you were right. Always three.

Cameron Crowe Your film will be 57% romantic, 37% comedy, 47% complex plot, and a $ 38 million budget.

You had him at "hello" and he will complete you. Yes, the guy who made Jerry Maguire (and the movies Singles and Say Anything) will make your life into a mushy romantic comedy-drama. But considering that he also wrote Fast Times At Ridgemont High and that the movie Almost Famous was about him, your film will be a GREAT mushy romantic comedy-drama.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 0% on action-romance You scored higher than 99% on humor You scored higher than 99% on complexity You scored higher than 99% on budget

Link: The Director Who Films Your Life Test written by bingomosquito on OkCupid Free Online Dating

Very Well-Rounded You have: 70% SCIENTIFIC INTUITION and 62% EMOTIONAL INTUITION

The graph on the right represents your place in Intuition 2-Space. As you can see, you scored above average on emotional intuition and above average on scientific intuition. (Weirdly, your emotional and scientific intuitions are equally strong.) Your Emotional Intuition score is a measure of how well you understand people, especially their unspoken needs and sympathies. A high score score usually indicates social grace and persuasiveness. A low score usually means you're good at Quake. Your Scientific Intuition score tells you how in tune you are with the world around you; how well you understand your physical and intellectual environment. People with high scores here are apt to succeed in business and, of course, the sciences.

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 60% on Scientific You scored higher than 60% on Interpersonal

Link: The 2-Variable Intuition Test written by jason_bateman on Ok Cupid

So I bought books at the bookstore today. I also took care of some much needed errands.

I spent $264 on 3 classes worth of books. Only 2 more to buy for. I might get out under $350 this year, which would be a record.

That's about it.

So tomorrow is my last day housesitting for the Lester's. Thankfully, I can go back to campus instead of Jasper, so all is well. The house is immaculate, the grass is cut, the dog is fed (until tomorrow). All that remains to be done is taking my orange juice to my room on campus.

I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. At 845.

The MCAT is in less than two weeks.

I'm helping Brittany move this week, I think.

I also have a doctor's appointment Thursday.


In case you were wondering, Thousand Island with Bacon really isn't that good. And Three Cheese Ranch tastes interesting. Zesty Italian is good as always.

Yeah, its true, there is so little going on in my life that I must report the status of salad dressings.

Anyway, time for me to go.

It's your turn.

So yeah, now I'm addicted to Smallville and The OC. It's seriously becoming a problem. Interfering with my work schedule, my workout schedule, and countless other vital events in my life.

That being said, Smallville is the greatest. Season 4 comes out on DVD 13 September.

I don't know why I like these shows. I think its because, somewhere in the complexities of the contrived environments of teen-angst type new age soap operas, I find something I can identify with. Whether it be the turmoil created by not telling someone how I feel about her, or the issues created by concealing, or revealing, certain facts. Smallville provides a deep insight into peoples' pasts, and how some things that are long gone should just be left in the past, but in some cases, the present can't go on without insight from the past.

There remains the dichotomy that is classic in my life, and in cinema. Two very different girls, each appealing in her own right. On one hand, we have the beautiful popular cheerleader with the heart of gold, and on the other we have the undeniably cute, witty, yet invasively curious overachiever. The continual love triangle type thing going on keeps people involved because they are pulling for either one or the other of the girls.

So which do you choose?

Chloe?




Or Lana?



Yes, I hotlinked wallpapers. Credit goes to Google Image Search.

And I don't know which one I choose. One reminds me of the girl I've always wanted, and the other reminds me of the girl I never knew I wanted. As for which is which, and who is who, I'll leave that up for speculation. Enjoy!

In other news:

I'm Gabe's best man. I'm excited.

I think I have a date for Blaire's wedding.

I move in on Saturday.

I met with an Army recruiter today.

I'm having some issues dealing with some things that are going on right now. And I don't know that I can trust anyone to talk about them.